Tuesday, June 5, 2007

When do the changes stop?

My brain is on overdrive. Today I was approached about a promotion at work. This is not a definite possiblity, but a highly likely option. I have such conflict in my brain...and heart for that matter.

As I mentioned, lightly, yesterday, I hate that I have to work outside the home. I wish I could spend more time with Jacob and not have to leave him to go to work. However, the life (and debt we accumulated prior to marriage) we have chose to live to this point currently requires that I work to help make ends meet, and to keep us from filing bankruptcy.

However, the promotion would bring in more money, which could help us to pay off more debt faster, which could allow me (if ever) to stay at home more and work less.

My ultimate desire is to stay at home and take care of my family. But this is not an option for us at this time. I wonder if this promotion is a way of God opening doors to allow me to get to my goal faster. Or is it what God wants at all...am I even supposed to be a SAHM?

The job position holds so much more responsibility than I currently have. I would be a supervisor, which I did in the past, and hated it. I would have to immediately hire my own replacement or else I would be completing two jobs, which I have done in the past when I was single and with a family would be horrible.

Then I wonder if I am just jumping to conclusions and worrying myself for no reason. There is nothing definite.

Trust me, my brain is on total overdrive.

Lord, please give me guidance on my future job opportunities and allow me to follow Your will and Your's alone. Give me peace about my decision with no regrets. I want to honor You and be the best wife and mother I can possibly be. Help me to make decisions that is Your will and will give me the ability to be the wife and mother I want to be. Amen.


Rebecca said...

I will be praying for you as well...

A door MAY have opened for me to teach next year at a Christian school.. pay cut.. eh insurance... I need some prayer sent my way also please :-)

love you

Janelle said...

Sorry I'm posting this late, but I feel you sister! I didn't figure myself for working full time with 3 little ones, but here I am. I'll be sending prayers your way--and God will show you the way.